PFP Session #10 - The 7th Circle of Poker Hell

I took a 15 minute power nap before heading in to The Oaks last night and while I was drifting off I was dreaming about flopping bottom set and making quads against two over full houses. My actual night was pretty much the opposite of that. There may be some profanity in this post.

As I walked in the door I saw a $30/$60 with 10 regulars and a $15/$30 with a bunch of unfamiliar players. I sat down at $6/$12 while I was waiting for my name to be called for the latter and saw even more new faces. After 5 minutes it was clear that half of these guys had no clue - absolutely no clue. Someone made a run of the mill full house and 3 people verbalized something to the effect of "Wow! A full house!" At that point - as you might suspect - I thought "These guys don't have a clue what they're doing."

I got dealt 25-30 hands over the course of 45 minutes, didn't drag a single pot, and lost $150. That's not really news or all that uncommon, but a little frustrating.

Putting that first speed bump behind me I made my way to $15/$30 and bought in for $1,000. There were a few characters that came in to play throughout the night as once I sat down no one left the game for 2 hours - a sign of a great game. The people were:

'The Old Man" in seat 1
"The Guy with Glasses" in seat 3
"Sunglasses" in seat 4
"The Lady" in seat6
"The Young Guy" in seat 7

In a normal game 3 or 4 players will make it to the flop on average. If 5 or 6 players are making it to the flop regularly it's a good or great game. We had 3 hands go to the flop 9 way for 2 or more bets in the first 30 minutes I was there!

I took seat 2, next to the old man who I once heard say "Oakland really went down hill when World War II started" - he was very, very old. He had about $2,000 in front of him and roughly 1/3 of the time I could see either one or both of his cards.

A few hands in I made top pair out of the big blind and ended up losing to Sunglasses. He'd flopped a pair of threes and rivered two pair when a 7 came out. The way it went down I wasn't surprised to see him roll over two pair, but it took me a second to note "Wait...Did he call first in before the flop with 73 off suit?" When you see someone do that, they're basically announcing they're going play anything. And he did. He had $1,000 in front of him.

I noticed The Lady - also sitting with $1,000 - call a hand in early postion with 84.

The Guy with Glasses was capping it 100% of the time someone reraised him after he raised preflop and would 3 bet the flop anytime someone raised him.

The Young Guy was the worst. There was one hand where The Old man Raised AJ and The Young Guy called his with J7. The flop was KQJ, the turn was a K and the river was a Q. The Old Man bet the whole way and The Young Guy called the whole way. Neither of them realized that their pair of jacks had been counterfitted and didn't play. At showdown they both stared at the fucking board cards for 5 seconds trying to figure out what happened!

So now that we've established that I was playing with people who were not just bad, but lacked any fundamental concepts whatsoever, let me tell you about what was going on with me. Nothing that's what! I could not make a fucking hand!

After 15 minutes I thought to myself - "This game is almost too good. Don't try to do too much. Just be patient." And I was for the most part. But when every pot has 40+ chips going in before the flop, you're getting the odds to see a lot of turn and river cards and it get's expensive if you're not dragging some pots.

I did win one pot in the first hour. It was an unimproved pocket 5's and there were five hundred fucking dollars in the pot! How does so much money go in when no one can beat a pair of 5's? Five total goofballs at the table, that's how.

In the second hour I won no pots.

Let me go deeper in to the torture. It was not just watching these fuckheads drag $600 pots left and right while I took hand after hand to the flop and got no help and missed all my draws and tried to keep my shit together.

On one hand I had 86 of clubs and we took the flop 7 way for two bets. The flop came down K 8 4, it got checked around to the raiser who was on the button and checked it. The turn was a 5 giving me a gut shot straight draw to go with my pair. Someone bet, I called, the original raiser called, The lady called and then the Young Guy raised it. Normally when you check raise 4 people on the turn it means you have something. The river was a 2 and The Young Guy went all in for his last $20.

I thought about calling even though I had a really shitty hand, but there were two players behind me and even a complete fool wouldn't check raise 4 people on the turn as a bluff. It was only $20 for a shot at over $500, but I let it go. The original raiser called and The Young Guy rolled over A5 for a pair of 5's and took down the pot. GAH! So frustrating.

I had a hand where I had Q7 off suit in the cutoff with 3 limpers in front of me and I had the chips in my hand to call, but trying to stay patient I let it go. I'd seen the old man's hand and he had J9. I was trying to decide if having the information of knowing what one of my opponents had would take it from a fold to a call and I opted to toss it. The flop came Q T 7 and the river was another 7. It ended up being a big pot without me pushing it. In isolation this hand is nothing to note, but after missing so many hands, it sucked to be so close to calling and let it go.

I had AK 3 times in pretty close succession. All 3 times it was 4 bets before the flop. Twice I totally missed, but on the 3rd one the flop came out A 7 4 rainbow. The young guy check raised me and since I was not going to fuck around in a big pot I three bet it. He had capped it preflop after playing pretty tamely preflop thus far so I thought he could have an ace or a big pair. He just called on the flop and the turn came out a Q. He check raised me again and I thought he could easily have QQ or AQ, but after that hand with the God damn A5 (and two other times I'd seen him make hopeless bluffs since) I wasn't going to fold. The river was another Q and after a pause he checked. Thinking maybe he had A6, A7 or 67 or who knows what, I bet out. He check raised me again and showed me quad queens after I called. GAH!

It's not just the two outter coming in, it's the fact that I got check raised 3 times. I'm sure that has happened to me at some point, but I can't think of another time that someone has done that to me and I paid them off the whole way. Normally only a very strong player would consider that line and I'd either stand off on the river, or let it go after getting hit for the third time. Anyway it sucked.
 
Right after that, The Lady won a pot that had $900 in it with AK, hitting a K on the river for one pair of kings. That is an ungodly pot. It should take two sets and 3 draws and an over pair to make a pot like that not who knows what that can't beat one pair.

Then I got AA, flopped a set and lost to Sunglasses who had 34 and made a wheel on the river.

After 2 hours I was stuck $1,200. The lady walked out with $1,500, The Guy with the Glasses cashed out $3,000 after having $500 when I sat down. The Old Man got it worse that I did and was down to the felt.

The game cooled off, but I started making some hands. In the third hour I flopped trips and it was good. I made two pair on the turn that filled up in the river. I got AA again and it held up. I finally made a flush draw and got paid off. I took it back to the point where I was only stuck $250.

Then I went right back down the toilet. All in the 4th hour: QQ was no good twice. AJ of clubs on a J 8 4 flop with two clubs didn't come home. I lost with trips. I made another set of aces and I lost to 34 again. Can you believe that shit?! TORTURE!

It took all of 55 minutes to go from -$250 to -$1275 and that's where I walked away. This was the worst poker day I've had since 2010. Of course I didn't play at all in 2011 or the first half of 2012, but still worth noting.

I'll be back in action on Monday or Tuesday. GRRRRR!