Angry Dealings with Carbon Poker

I miss pokerstars. Their customer service is better than any customer service in any industry I've ever encountered in my life. I've e-mailed their support a few dozen times over the years and without fail I've gotten a response within the hour (sometimes in less than 10 minutes) written by a human, who knows how to read, and addressing my precise problem.

Little in the world makes me more aggravated than waiting 48 hours for a response and getting a form letter that barely has anything to do with my problem. I want to write back "What's wrong with you fucking morons? Didn't you read my e-mail?"

I could write pokerstars an e-mail right now that says "Hey Ass lickers! I think you should go hump a turtle! What do you think of that?" In 20 minutes they'd write me back with something like this:

Dear AceSedai:

Thanks for your e-mail! We are thrilled that you've noticed our ass licking! We here at pokerstars want to be the best at everything, from tournaments to cash games to ass licking!

As far as humping turtles goes, at this time we don't have access to any live turtles, but we are currently humping a stuffed turtle. To compensate you for any inconvenience this turtle substitution may have caused we are going to credit your account with $100.

Furthermore we have added both live and stuffed turtles with a variety of feed and clothing options to the Pokerstars FPP store.

Don't hesitate to contact us in the future with any other ass licking or turtle humping concerns! Good luck at the tables!

Chris Moneymaker

I bring this up because Carbon poker is making me angry. After finishing the last level of "The Race" promotion I went to make a cashout. When I did, $200 I earned as part of that promotion disappeared from my account. "Whoops!" I thought as I do when I make a mistake. Looking back on the terms and conditions of that promotion (no surprise that it was in fine print) I saw that I have to wait 7 days after the end of the promotion before I can cashout.

Luckily there is a happy little button that allows me to cancel a pending cashout. So that's what I did, maybe 10 minutes later. Of course my $200 was still gone, but I figured a short e-mail to support would fix the problem. WRONG!

37 hours later (literally) I got a response telling me that my $200 was gone because I had cashed out. What's wrong with you fucking morons? Didn't you read my e-mail? I never actually cashed out!

I'm tempted to write them an e-mail that says "Hey Ass lickers! I think you should go hump a turtle! What do you think of that?"

I'm sure 3 days later I'd get a response that said:

Dear Player

We are directing your e-mail to the appropriate department. Expect a response in 15 business days. We have charged your account a $100 processing fee for this e-mail. Marginal luck at the tables!

Support

I bet they do have a turtle humping department at Carbon poker. Ass lickers!

The Race - Conclusion

When I first looked at Carbon poker's "The Race" promotion I was sure it was going to be a slam dunk pile of cash for me. It was on the border of too good to be true at first glance, but the deeper I dug the worse and worse the promotion got.

Why did I believe that this was going to be such a big deal? The reason is poker sites need players. The more players they have the more than can expect to get. If I know there are going to be games going on a site at the stakes I'm interested in I'll keep money on that site and check it often. If they don't have the players once or twice I might never look back.

For the casual player it's hard to find a reason to NOT play on pokerstars. If you want to play $5/$10 limit poker on Carbon you'll probably find one game going. It might be 2 on the weekend or zero on a weekday morning. If there is one game you might have to wait 15 minutes to get into it. That's not long at a card room, but it's forever sitting in front of your computer. On the other hand pokerstars will have somewhere between 10 and 40 games going 24 hours a day. Right now (11 am on a Thursday) there is one $5/$10 game on Carbon and 20 on pokerstars.

What about no limit? Let's look at a popular level like $1/$2 blinds NL. On carbon poker they have eight 6 handed games going (4 of them actually have 5 or less players) and zero 9 handed games. Not bad right. Well pokerstars has 75 6-max games and 60 9 handed games going.

It's hard to compete with that huge load of games. Never longer than 30 seconds to get into a game and if you don't like the players, pick a new game!

The only way to lure players away from pokerstars to other sites is promotions. I thought The Race was carbon making a huge push to lure players away. I thought they might be willing to lose money in the short term to bring in new players and fill up their tables. I was wrong.

After my last post about The Race I realized when I put all of the promotions together I was making about 68% rakeback. I get a flat 75% on cake and on Absolute if you pile up the rakeback, rake races, deposit bonuses, and absolute points it's over 70%. Plus the games are better on AP.

So I bailed on the race. I completed 9 levels and made about $500.

WSOP Warm Up

I've been playing a few multitables here and there in an effort to get ready for the WSOP. Yesterday I finished 2nd of 137 in a $55 NL hold'em tournament which paid $1,200. That's not off the charts money by any means, and the field wasn't exactly loaded with pros, but it was still good for some momentum heading into the series.

Also in an effort to warm up for the WSOP, I'll be playing two tournaments in person just before I head out to Vegas. Both tournaments are taking place at Lucky Chances in Colma, CA. The first is on Sunday and features a $550 buy in and a guaranteed 1st place prize of $40,000. The second is on Monday, has a $330 buy in and a $20,000 1st place guarantee.

My guess is that each tournament will have about 200 entrants and feature the regular bay area tournament players. Hopefully I can book a nice cash and go into the WSOP feeling sharp. I'll let you know how it goes.

WSOP 2010 Starts Tomorrow

While I won't be in Vegas until June 8th, the 2010 World Series of Poker kicks off tomorrow with 57 bracelet events with buy ins ranging from $1,000 to $50,000.

I spent an hour this morning sitting at Starbucks reading Bluff Magazine and it feels like just about every article in the June issue is about the WSOP. Reading about how many of the big name pros are getting excited about the series makes me excited to get there and start playing!

I have a very positive feeling about this year which will be my 6th at the WSOP. I have more experience under my belt and compared to many of the players I'll be an old veteran.

But there are other things working in my favor as well. For one I've lost 20 pounds since last summer (Almost 30 since January of 2009). Playing from noon until 2 in the morning takes it's toll on everyone and I'm hoping that my improved physical fitness will help me deal with the long hours.

Another advantage I'll have over many of my opponents is I'm totally Vegased out. When I was 21 and even when I was 25 (I'm 30 now) I wanted to go out and get rip roaring drunk and gamble it up non stop! Hit me! Yo eleven! More Whisky! Clackity clack!

I've spent over 100 days in Vegas over the past 10 years (Plus a few dozen in Tahoe, Reno, Atlantic City, etc.)and I've had my fill. I still have fun playing negative EV games with my friends, but I no longer feel like spending time in my hotel room is wasting precious Vegas moments. While many of my opponents will be getting shit faced, trying to get laid, going to clubs, getting lap dances and playing craps long into the night, I'll be asleep.

Also working for me is, I've done this all before. I know where the bathrooms are and that I have to leave the table 20 seconds before the breaks start (have you ever seen 2,000 people get up to go to the bathroom at the same time?). I know where I like to eat at the Rio on dinner break and to not eat too much and cause a food coma. I know that I need to bring a snack to get me from the noon start time to the dinner break. I know that if you drink a red bull and a coffee you're going to miss two hands while you go take a piss. I'm not star struck by any of the players (Phil Helmuth? Yeah I've played against him 3 times, busted him once and saw him almost eat a graham cracker he found on the floor - REALLY!). I'm extremely good looking which distracts all of my opponents and lulls them into submission. I know it takes about 16 minutes to get from a room in the Masquerade tower at the Rio to the Amazon room. Did I mention the bathrooms, because that really is a big deal?

It really is exciting. There is nothing like the feel of a fat roll of hundred dollar bills in your pocket and peeling off 20 or 30 of them like it's nothing to buy into one of these tournaments. Or even better having so many that you need to carry around $1,000 chips instead because the roll of hundreds is so bulky that it won't fit in your pocket comfortably anymore.

More on the WSOP soon. I really feel like this is going to be my year!

SCOOP Recap

When you add it all up I lost $3,314 in the FTOPS and SCOOP combined. I played a total of 28 tournaments and had 4 money finishes. Under these conditions I'm shooting for something cloer to 25% in the money rather than 1 in 7.

Of course I had my opponent all in more than once with a chance to make the money if I won one of those confrontations in the both the triple shootout and the first heads up matches event. I easily could have (and probably should have) had 6 cashes instead of 4.

Looking ahead, I'm really excited about the WSOP this year. I feel like I've found the perfect mix of tournaments to play and I'm coming into the series more focused than ever. This will be my sixth year at the WSOP, I'm playing 6 tournaments, so I'm going to go on the record and predict a finish of 6th place or better on one of these events!

The action kicks off at the Rio the last few days in May, but my 2010 WOSP will start June 9th.

The Race Days 5-14

When I first saw the race promotion I thought "holy shit, they are giving me $25,000." At first glance it looked like all I needed to do was earn 100,000 points or pay $10,000 in rake to hit all of the race prizes. But then I saw that the list of point milestones were not cumulative targets, but rather 15 individual promotions that had to be hit independent of one another. At that point it looked like I'd need to pay over $30,000 in rake to hit them all.

In an equally disappointing moment I learned that because of my 35% rakeback deal I would only be earning points at 65% the rate of normal players. It makes sense, but I didn't know about it. Factoring that in I'd need to pay an insane $46,000 in rake in one month to hit all the levels.

Also I was expecting (foolishly) that rake back nation would be having their normal rake race for Carbon, which was canceled. That's another $1,000 I thought I'd get.

Also I learned that since I have a rakeback deal I'm not eligible for other parts of the Carbon VIP program.

Add all of this up and instead of making enough from this promotion to buy a car, it looks more like flat screen TV kind of money. I'm not going to look a gift few grand in the mouth, but it's not as earth shattering as I'd hoped.

So far I've earned about 20,000 points which has allowed me to hit the first 8 milestones and pick up a whopping $302.50. I expect to finish the month with about 50,000 which will mean I'll end up making an extra $1,502 from the race.

To get there I will have ended up paying $7,693 in rake. Factoring in the money from the race, the value of the actual points, my 35% rakeback, and clearing of two deposit bonuses, I'll be getting back $5,282 or 68% of my rake. Not too bad at all. Not the 100% I was hoping for at the start, but still solid.

More SCOOP Bad News

I came up short in the $33 and $320 8-game as well as the $55 and $530.

This is a major disappointment, not so much because of the money, but because these should be the tournaments in which I have the highest expected value and I didn't even sniff the money. Frustrating to say the least.

5 tournaments left in the SCOOP: $270 heads up matches, $215 HORSE, $215 NL hold'em, $109 NL hold'em (the low stakes main event - $1,000,000 guaranteed prize pool), and $1,050 NL hold'em (the medium stakes main event - $3,000,000 guaranteed prize pool). The go off in that order starting Saturday morning.

Even in the worst case scenario if I blank in all of these I'll have about $3,000 of my $7,500 FTOPS/SCOOP bankroll left.

Of course the best case scenario is a mid six figure pay day, which is why we play. Let's hope I finish out the 2010 SCOOP with a bang!

Thursday's Action.

$33 and $320 8 game mixed games today starting right now. I'm going to late register. I always like my chances when we're playing more than one game.

SCOOP Event #28 ($109 w rebuys) Recap.

We started this tournament with 2,066 entrants all shooting for the $103,856 first place prize or at least the $551 for 270th. At the end of the rebuy period I had about 11,000 chips which was what I got for my buy in, one rebuy and the add on. About 4 hours into the tournament I was all the way up to 15K. What a boring 4 hours!

At that point an interesting hand came up. The blinds were 150/300 and the under the gun player made it 750 to go. He got called by a player a few spots to his left and I made it 3,000 to go with TT. The UTG player who had about 60,000 chips called. The other guy thought for about 30 seconds and then went all in for about 18K.

This seemed very suspicious. I thought maybe the all in player thought I was putting on a squeeze play and decided to "resqueeze." I couldn't rule out AA or AK, but looking back a hand like 77 or 88 makes the most sense. In the end I folded, because I was worried I might get called by both players and TT plays like shit against two hands. The UTG player folded so I have no idea what they both had.

I finally caught a break when I got dealt AA. A player in early position raised to 1,200 with KJ and I just called (the blinds were 250/500 by that point). The flop came down J T 8. He bet, I moved all in and he called.

One or two hands later I got dealt KQs. A player in middle position made it something like 1,100 to go and I just called. The flop came down J T 2 giving me two overs and a straight draw. My opponent bet about half the pot on the flop and again I opted to just call thinking I could hit or if he missed I'd likely be able to steal the pot with a bet on the turn.

The turn was a brick and my opponent checked. I bet 6K into the 7K pot and he called. Yikes! The river was another blank, he checked and without hesitation I moved all in for 20K. Scary! He thought for 10 seconds and folded leaving me with a stack of 41K when average was about 30K.

A little while later I got a big boost and then a big screw job. On the first one I reraised a guy all in who had about 20K. I had AQs and he had KK. I made a flush and was up to 60k. Then I got a cheap look in the big blinds with 89. The flop came with an 8 and a 9 making me two pair. But I was against 88 who flopped a set! ACK! After those two hands I was at 20K.

With about 450 players left I had 14K and average was 53K. I caught a huge break when I got it all in and flopped a Q with AQ vs AK! I caught another break when I folded 77 after being very close to raising it. It turns out I would have been against 88 and the flop came with a 7 and an 8! That would have been curtains for sure.

I won several small pots and one moderate one to take my stack to 60K when we made the money.

On my final hand I had JJ. The blinds were up to 1K/2K with a 250 ante and a player opened for something like 6K. I had a little over 50K and I thought about making it 15K to go, but I decided I should just get it all in there and pick up the 11,000 that was lingering out there in the pot. I got called by AK and he hit an ace. That's usually how a tournament ends.

I finished 185th which paid $681. Again not a ton of money, but it always feels good to cash.

SCOOP Event #28 Underway.

After a day off yesterday I'm back in SCOOP action today with $109 with rebuys 9 handed no limit hold'em. You get 3,000 chips for the buy in, 3,000 chips for a rebuy (you can only rebuy if you have 3,000 chips or less) and 5,000 for the add on at the end of the first hour. So I should have at least 11,000 chips at the end of the first hour when the blinds go from 30/60 to 40/80.

That's right. 140 or so big blinds at the end of the first hour. That is deep stack poker! This one is going to take FOREVER! Probably 7 hours to make the money. Luckily I feel rested and ready. Look for twitter updates.