Project 10K Session #2 - The Minus $900 Anti Power Hour

I was back in action at $2/$3/$5 at the Oaks Club on Friday night and was involved in a large number of hands where I had tough decisions.

Actually for the first 90 minutes I had zero tough decisions and amazingly I was between -$25 and +$100 for a 60+ hand stretch. Then I had a rough downswing.

On the first hand of note I had QQ and raised one limper to $25 from the cutoff. The button called as did the limper and the flop came down K J 5. I bet out $50 and just the button called. The turn was a blank and it went check, check. The river was another blank and I decided to check again. I was either beat, against a jack that maybe could call a small bet or against a hand that might bluff, but couldn't call a bet so checking was the clear play. My opponent bet out $75 and I insta-called. She had AK. I felt fortunate only losing $150 with QQ vs AK with a K on the flop. We could have gotten it all in preflop and I would have been out $500.

A few hands later 6 of us saw a flop for $5 each. I had 65 and the flop came down A 8 7 giving me an open ended straight draw. I checked, one opponent bet out $25, I raised it to $75 and he called. The turn was a blank and I made a mistake - I checked. I was kind of expecting to win the pot on the flop with my check raise and when we got to the turn and I missed I was kind of hoping my opponent would check behind me. If I bet out $125-150 I could maybe unload an Ax type of hand and instead I think I gave that exact hand confidence. I check called $100 on the turn (which is also suspect), missed the river and check folded to another bet of $100.

Those hands both sucked but I go majorly squashed on the next one. I had 85 of clubs on the button and 7 of us saw the flop for $5. The flop came down 8 6 5 with two spades making me two pair on a draw heavy board. The big blind bet out $15 and after 3 people called I raised it to $75. Then to my surprise the big blind went all in for $370! I took a second to think it over. I was totally screwed against 86 or a set, but given that I had an 8 and a 5 both were a little less likely than normal (blockers!). It could be an over pair like 99, but anything much bigger would have raised preflop. It could be an ace high flush draw? A7 of spades would make sense. 87 would make sense. A pair and a flush draw might shove here. In the end I decided that I didn't think a set would be likely to bet out and would be much more likely to go for a check raise. On the other hand a big draw would be likely to bet out and make a huge all in. It was just such a draw heavy board. I called and lost to 74 - a flopped straight. BAH!

I found myself in another tough spot a bit later. I had 7 5 with the 7 of hearts in the big blind. 6 of us saw a flop for $10 and after a 8d 5h 3h flop the guy just to my left bet out $40. The button called, I called with my pair of fives and the turn was the 4 of hearts. I checked, the guy to my left checked and now the button bet out $100. I was really torn here. I just wasn't buying that the button had made a flush. He just kind of grabbed a stack of $100 and put it out there without much thought. Those bets of $100 are lazy bets - they're often not well thought out. If he'd carefully cut out $85 or $115 I would have read it a little differently. I had a lot going on with my hand. I had a pair, I had a gut shot straight draw, a shitty flush draw, a 1 card out to a straight flush, and some chance that I had the best hand. But still calling $100 when two players have put it aggressive action on a scary board is usually not smart. Fuck these tough decisions! In the end I called and we lost the third player in the pot. The river was a q of hearts making my shitty flush. Now that I'd sort of gotten there I had to get to showdown. I check called $100 and lost to AQ with the ace of hearts. 

Thinking back on that last one, I'm not sure I win the pot even if neither of us improved, I might be faced with a $200 bet on the river if it's a brick. I may have needed a 5, 6 or 7 to win that one.

Those hands all happened over the course of an hour and I was losing $900+ at one point. "Fuck all this losing!" I thought to myself.

Then things turned around a little bit. I three bet a guy with A5, bet the flop and shoved all in on the turn and got him to fold QQ on a J high board. I was shocked that he was so strong! I turned a set and picked up $200. Someone raised to $100 against 5 players who were in for $10 each, I read it as a steal, made it $400 to go with 77 and picked up $150 without a fight.

I went up and down a little, but after 6 hours of play I was stuck about $650. I decided to play one more round and then rack up.

In that final round I got dealt Q9 off suit on the button and 6 of us saw a flop for $10. The under the gun player bet out $45 on a 9 7 2 flop and I just called. The turn was a 7 and I called $100. The river was a Q and I called $150. My opponent said "Good call. I missed my straight draw." and I took down a nice pot. Hooray!

On the the next hand 5 of us saw a flop for $25 and I had 75 of clubs.The flop was K Q J with two spades and I was all set to fold when it got checked around. The turn was a 5 and everyone checked to me. I still had the button behind me, but I figured if he had anything at all he'd have bet the flop and if these guys were all going to play weak as shit I figured I'd take a shot at them. I bet $75 and only the button called. I was hoping maybe he had a small flush draw or a bare T or something, he'd miss and my 5 would hold up. I was really praying for miracles. The river was the 7 of spades completing the flush draw, but also making me two pair, We both checked and he showed AK! It was a miracle! If he three bet preflop, or bet the flop or I decided to check the turn I would not have made it to showdown.

A couple of hands later I called a raise with AT suited. The flop came down Q J 9 giving me an open ended straight draw and two of us called a half pot sized bet from the preflop raiser. I was thinking to myself "How sweet would it be if a K came on the turn and someone else had a T. I'd be sure to get their whole stack. Give me a king! Give me a king! King, king, king!" The turn was a king! And the first guy to act shoved for $275! He said "Do you have the nuts?" and I said "Yep!"

After that run of sweetness I walked out the door +$104 on the night. My $10,000 bankroll is at $9,609 after 10 hours or Project 10K.

Project 10K Session #1 - The Minus $1,000 Anti-Power Hour

I have a new project in the works that I'm calling "Project 10K" (I was on the fence about calling it Project Gutsy Lobster, but decided to keep it simple). I've put together a $10,000 bankroll to play $2/$3/$5 and I'm going to try to book 100 hours at the tables by October 31st. My first session was yesterday and it was a struggle.

I have not been properly bankrolled for these stakes lately so I felt a little more relaxed sitting down this time knowing I have plenty of cash in reserve and thinking about this in a longer term way. Unfortunately I had 5 hands go against me in the first hour.

In the first I had KQ, raised to $20 and got two callers. On a K T 8 flop I bet out $40 and the player to my left who is a total goof went all in for $225. I thought he might do that with any K, T or draw and would just call with anything that had me beat so I snap called. Turns out he had T8. The turn was a A of hearts putting 3 hearts out there and I had the K of hearts so I had 9 outs to the nuts, 3 more to make a straight and 7 more to make a bigger two pair, but the river was a brick and $285 disappeared from my stack.

A few minutes later I got T8 suited on the button and 6 of us saw the flop for $5. The flop was K J 9 and the cutoff bet out $20. I called and the turn came out a 9. I didn't make my straight, but this was a great card for me. If the cutoff had a K or a J I might be able to blow them off their hand. She bet out $40 and I put her all in for $160. She couldn't get her chips in fast enough and I knew I was in trouble. I missed the straight and she took it down with T9. That was another $185 down the drain.

A little later I had a red QT in the big blind and the flop came down Q high, all clubs. 4 of us were in for $10 preflop, I bet out $30 and got one caller. I figured a big part of his range was a flush draw, but I also thought he could have me beat and I was planning to check the turn. But then a T came making me two pair and I had to fire again. I bet out $110 thinking to make a draw pay big to get there. My opponent just called. The river was a brick and I checked. He only had about $125 left and I thought there was a chance that a busted draw might take a shot at it. Sure enough he pushed it all in. With over with $450 in the pot and only $125 to call with my top two I wasn't going anywhere. Sadly my opponent had flopped a flush with KT of clubs and I'd blown off another $270.

I had a couple of other hands where I lost a little over $100 in pretty standard ways, and didn't have anything go my way. Before I knew it I was stuck $1,000 an hour into the session! BAH! I tried to play these hands back in my mind and really think if I could have done anything different, and looking back now I feel OK about them, but it's hard not to doubt your play when you get it in bad 3 times.

I spent the next 2 hours folding garbage, but then had two more hands of note come up.

On the first I called a raise to $20 out of the small blind with AT of diamonds. We took the flop 4 way and it came out A 7 5 all spades. I checked, the big blind fired out $65, the original raiser folded and the button called. I wasn't really sure where I stood at this point. It was likely I was up against one other ace and one big spade, but I wasn't sure who had what or if my ace was any good. I decided folding would be too weak so I called as well. The turn was the 2 of spades and I gave up on the hand planing to check fold.

But it got checked around. Maybe no one has a spade? The river was a red J and I fired out $120 thinking it would be hard to call with no spade. To my amazement the big blind said "Maaaaaan, God damn it!" and flipped over the 93 of spades! There was still another player in the hand so it was not cool of him to show his hand, but I figured once he showed it, he wasn't calling. He bitched for about 15 seconds to the dealer and players at other tables and everyone at our table about his horrible luck and then folded. The button folded A5 (two pair!) face up and I took down the pot with the worst hand. Boo-ya!

A little later I got dealt TT, raised to $25 and got two callers. The flop came down A T 3! Bingo! Normally I like to bet big hands early so I can build a big pot, but in this instance the small blind looked like he was going to bet out and then checked. That looked like a weak ace to me and I figured if I checked once I could convince him I had a hand like QQ or JJ. When it got to me I checked. The turn was a 7 of hearts putting two hearts on board and like clockwork my opponent bet out $50.

From across the table I can tell you how many chips are in a stack that's 45 or 50 chips high plus or minus 1. This guy had put out two neat stacks of 5, but I meekly asked "How much is it?" as though I couldn't tell in a tenth of second that it was $50 and as if that piece of information mattered to my decision. I just called and the river was the 3 of hearts. This made me a full house, but I was worried the third heart might kill my action. My opponent messed with his chips like he was going to bet $100 or shove for $225, but then he checked. Trying to make a bet that a bare ace could call, I slid out $75 chips.

After a slight delay there was a very satisfying sequence that took about 1.5 seconds. My opponent moved all in, I called, he proudly showed 65 of hearts (a flush), and I crushed his hopes a dreams with my full house. The boom, boom, boom, boom of the shove, call, he shows, I show was so satisfying! I'm glad I checked that flop.

After 4 hours I started to feel really tired and left a $495 loser on the day. Not the best way to start out my 100 hours, but after that first -$1,000 hour I'm glad I didn't book a huge loss. I'm back in action hoping to put in 5-6 hours on Friday.

Give Me Back My Cupcakes!

I remember when I was 22 years old and just started beating the $6/$12 limit games regularly I asked one of the $15/$30 game regulars about the best time to play the bigger game. "Holiday weekends" was his answer. In the time since, I've found that Presidents Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Fourth of July weekends are the absolute best time to play as a lot of people who only play once every few months take their shot.

I was hoping for a soft lineup and instead I got one of the worst games in recent memory. For a while we were playing 7 handed and two of the other players were not tough exactly, but capable of making advance deceptive plays, big calls and big bluffs. This is quite a change from the standard field of total cupcakes I'm used to facing.

Worse than that I kept finding myself with tough decisions or having not awful, but just unfortunate stuff happen to me.

Early on 5 of us saw a flop that came down 5 5 2. After the rake there was $19 in the pot and the small blind bet out $30. This seemed like too much for a 5 and I figured he had something like a pocket pair 33-88. So I called planning to pop him on the turn as if I had a 5 when in fact I had nothing. The turn was a 9 and he bet out $65. I made it $200 figuring I'd get a lamenting fold. Instead he shoved for $400! Gah! I folded and he showed 53. I made a read and I trusted it, but it just didn't work out.

A little later I called a raise with TT and when my opponent bet $30 into an $80 pot on a 6 high flop I made it $100 to go. There were two other players in the hand who quickly folded and the villain slowly called. The turn was an 8 and he check called his last $50 with AK. After an A came on the river and he won the pot he explained that he put me on AK. I resisted the urge to tell him that this was the worst read in the history of poker.

I had 5 or 6 pots including those two where $300-$500 pots got shipped to my opponents. On one I called a $150 all in on the turn with a pair and a flush draw and missed. On another I raised the flop and made a big bet on the turn with one pair against a flush draw that called and got there. On yet another I had a pair against a flush draw that missed the flush but made a bigger pair.

I had long stretches of shitty cards coming in one hand after the next.

In the middle of all this mess I did drag a big pot with top two pair and that was the only thing that kept me from sinking. After 5 frustrating hours I was down $550 when my friend E.B. came in to play.

Normally I like to play from about 5 pm - 9pm and he plays starting around 9 or 10 so we don't play together that often, but I agreed to play longer than normal so we could sit in the same game for a while.

Things turned around right away.

By this point the solid players were long gone and the table was filled with cupcakes. Hooray cupcakes!

In one big hand I got dealt KT of diamonds, made it $25 to go and got 4 callers. The flop came down T 8 4 with two clubs and I bet out $100 with about $325 left in my stack after that bet. The next player to act started counting out chips. He was actually an OK player and was making plays with some thought behind them. After 15-20 seconds of deliberate counting he pushed $400 into the pot.

It's rare that someone in this game will put in so much without a big hand, but something seemed fishy. He was trying to represent a set, but a set probably wouldn't want to blow the other players out of the pot. This was a super draw heavy board and I quickly came to the conclusion that this must be a draw. I took 10 seconds to make sure I was sure and then I called. The board ran out red 5, red Q and my opponent showed J7 of clubs! Ah ha! It was a draw! That pot got me back to even on the night. I think if that draw had come in and I would have lost that pot I would have left.

Then I just totally wrecked this one dude. I took his $300 stack from him with KQ on a king high board. He bought in for another $300. I took that $300 when I flopped top 2 with AK and we got it all in on the turn. So he bought in for another $300. I had AQ on a K Q 5 flop and called a small bet on the flop and the turn. The river was an A and I got his whole stack for a third time! Boo-ya!

Bingo bongo I was up $1,000!

I ended up playing a few more hours until about 1 in the morning and left a $1,060 winner on the night. It's so much fun waking up the next day when it hits you that you had a nice win the night before.

As for E.B. he lost $500 with AK vs AQ all in preflop, another $400 with KK vs AK all in on an A K X flop (ace on the river!), and another $400 with A4 vs AQ on an A 4 X flop with a Q on the turn all in the first 15 minutes he was there! ACK! This was a truly epic beat down. But I got a text from him at 8:30 am saying that he was still there and not just back to even, but up $1,700 on the night/morning!

Since I've returned from Vegas and the WSOP I've played 9 sessions, won 8 of them and made about $4,000 in 40 hours of play. Who needs tournaments?

Bluffs Need to Tell a Believable Story (Part 2)

I played $2/$3/$5 Tuesday night and got involved in a lot of big pots.

There are four hands from the night worth noting. On the first, a player who was the best among my opponents and about $1,500 deep opened for $30 which I'd noted was his standard raise. I've instituted a plan to three bet whenever given the chance with JT and 66 in order to methodically balance my three bet range a bit so it's not all TT-AA, AK and AQ. So when I looked down at JT I made it $80 to go as if I had a very big hand.

My opponent called fairly quickly and the flop came down 8 5 3, with no flush draws which is about a dry a board as you'll see. I bet out $125 hoping my opponent would put me on the big pair I was representing and fold, but after some thought he called. The turn was a 10 which was a great card for me if I was ahead and an awful card if I was behind at that point. Now that I had something, I wanted to get to showdown, and I figured if I checked I'd be facing a bet on the river and give my opponent a shot to potentially catch up, so I fired out $200. This was a misplay. I should have realized that this guy wasn't calling $125 on the flop out of position with overs and there were no draws out there.

I got check raised all in and folded to save the $400 I had left in my stack. If that wasn't an overpair or a set of 8's this guy did an amazing job with an elaborate bluff and I believed his story. This hand was the opposite of "well there was nothing I could do." About the only thing I really like that I did with this hand was bet the flop. The rest was a real cluster.

A little later I again got check raised on the turn, but this time it did not compute. I raised to $20 with AJ on the button and got called by both blinds. The flop came down A K 9 with two diamonds and I checked it back when it checked to me. I was very likely to have the best hand, but so much so that I figured I'd lose them both with a bet and might get some action if I checked. Checking back with top pair about 20% of the time is also a balancing my range type of play.

The turn was a Q and again it was checked to me. I bet out $45 expecting two folds, but instead I get check raised all in to $250! Normally, big turn check raises are a sign of complete and total doom, but in this instance I played the hand to look weak (and got what I wanted) and more importantly a raise to 2.5X what's in the pot is a massive over bet. A big hand wouldn't make it so much. It looked like a flush draw. After thinking it over for 15 seconds I called and it was in fact a flush draw. I was rewarded for my good call by the flush coming in and my opponent scooping in the $560 pot. Grrrrr!

The next hand is some set up for the last hand. I'd recovered from those debacles and had a little over $800 in front of me and was roughly even on the night when I got dealt two black tens. The guy just to my right was new to the game and I'd never seen him before. He bought in for $500 which is usually a sign of strength, but he'd posted $5 to get a hand and almost folded even though he was already in for $5 and didn't need to put in any more money to see the flop. This was surely a sign of weakness.

Mr. New Guy made it $30 to go, I just called with my TT, and we took the flop 4 way with the blinds. The flop came down 9 6 3 all clubs and Mr. New Guy fired out $100. Big bets usually mean big hands, but with an overpair and a club I felt I had to call. The turn was a 4 of spades and Mr. New Guy bet out $200. Big bets again usually mean big hands again. It's hard to fold an overpair with a flush draw, but I thought I was likely against an even bigger pair with an even bigger club. That was a hard fold to make but I did it.

A hand or two later I got into it again with the same guy. This time he just called $5 and I made it $30 to go with QQ. I also got 3 callers and the flop came down K J 8 with no flush draws. I didn't love the king, but I bet out $100 because checking is just too weak. Only Mr. New Guy called. The turn was a 7 and it got checked to me again.

I was not sure what my opponent had. I thought there was some chance he might have a J or a K or a draw, but I didn't have a good read on him. I decided to go with the "When in doubt fire!" strategy and put $200 out there. Mr New Guy called not right away, but pretty quickly.

The river paired the 7 which I felt almost certain didn't change anything. After the call on the turn I figured my goose was cooked and it was time to check it and hope I somehow had the best hand. I was waiting for Mr. New Guy to check so I could turn up my hand. And I kept waiting. He just sat there fiddling with his chips.

After about 10 seconds I thought "This looks like he missed a draw and now he's stuck and doesn't know what to do." This was odd though because there weren't many draws that made sense. On the flop T9 was a possible, but it got there on the turn. QT was possible, but I had two of the Q's so it wasn't all that likely. AQ or AT wouldn't call $200 on the turn. J9 was maybe in there. After maybe 30 seconds he moved all in for $400. Normally calling a $400 river bet with a hand that can only beat a bluff is a bad idea. I took 10 seconds to make sure I was sure (or at least sure enough) and then called. In this case though I was right - he tabled QT and I took down a $1,500 pot.

I was $700 to the good after that hand, but I spewed a good bit of that off and left a $266 winner on the night.

That time I folded QQ pre-flop against Jose Canseco

I walked into The Oaks Club on Friday night and bought in for $500 in the $2/$3/$5 no limit hold'em game. About 5 minutes later they called another player for the game and this huge dude sat down across from me. I looked up at him and realized "Holy shit, that's Jose Canseco!"

Jose played for the A's in the late 80's and early 90's and I remember having his baseball cards and watching him play when I was a kid. In the years since his playing days he's best known for being the biggest whistleblower on steroids in baseball and doing celebrity boxing.

He also bought in for $500 and I expected him to be kind of a wild player. He turned out to be anything but.

A few hands in 4 of us took a flop with no raise. The board was A 5 4 and figuring if someone had an ace they'd likely have raised pre-flop, I fired out a pot sized bet with a pair of 5's. Jose folded pocket kings face-up lamenting how the past few hands had been raised pre-flop and how no one fell for his trap.

A little later a huge hand came up. I'd won a few nice pots and had about $1,000 in front of me when I got dealt KQ. After Jose and the woman next to him called $5 I raised to $25. The button, the small blind, Jose and the woman all called. The flop came down JT9! BINGO! I'd flopped the nut straight.

The small blind bet out $80 into the $125 pot and as he pushed his chips into the pot I was trying to decide if I should raise now or pop him on the turn. Then Jose put $250 out there! And then the woman next to him went all in for $150! Holy shit! It's not every day that you flop the stone cold nuts and get 3 people to put in big action in front of you.

There were two clubs on board so I figured I was up against at least one flush draw and probably a set as well. If that was the case I'd need to fade a club or a board pair to take it down. The best case was being up against multiple flush draws or multiple set or two pair type of hands. The guy who bet $80 was sitting on about $900 and Jose had another $500 in his stack after putting $250 in already. With over $600 out there already and a draw heavy board, there was only one move - all in!

I shoved my ten stacks of chips into the pot and to my shock and amazement the button - who was the last player in the hand and facing heavy action from 4 other players - stopped to think. He had about $700 in front of him and I was having dollar signs explode in my brain.

After 30 seconds the button folded and the small blind instantly called for another $900! With the action back on Jose he folded 87 face up. He'd flopped the lower end of the straight and let it go which was a big laydown.

The rest of the hand was not filled with as much drama. The small blind also had KQ with no clubs and the woman who was all in didn't show, but said she needed runner, runner and mucked her hand after a small red card came on the turn. I split a nice pot with the small blind and we moved on to the next one.

A little later I got dealt QQ in the small blind. Jose limped in from the cut off and the button made it $25 to go. 95% of the time I like re-raising with QQ, but the button was $800 deep and I figured a reraise would either blow him off the hand preflop and I'd make a whopping $35 or I'd put myself in a spot where I was playing a big pot out of position. Neither of those sounded great and I figured I might catch one of my opponents off guard as they'd never put me on QQ.

When the action got back to Jose he made it $175 to go! Usually when someone just calls before the flop and then puts in a reraise they have a huge hand like AA or KK. Sometimes it's something like 77 or 88 if they can shove in the rest of their stack, but he had another $500+ behind so I didn't think it was anything marginal. I thought back to that first hand where he just called with KK preflop and another where he did the same thing so I knew that play was squarely in his range. My options were pretty much shove all in or fold. After 30 seconds I opted to let it go. I showed my hand and he showed me AK!

If I was 100% sure he had AK I would have called as I'd be 57% to win the hand, but if he did have AA or KK I'd only be 18% to win.

My last big hand against Jose came an hour or so later. The under the gun player raised to $20, got one caller and Jose made it $100 to go. I was in the big blind and looked down at KK! Jose had about $300 behind at that point and after considering the pro and cons of just calling, I figured there was a very good chance if I just moved all in he'd call me. I was almost positive he had a big hand as he'd shown a large percentage of the hands he'd raised and they'd all been premium hands. So I shoved.

At that point the original raiser who was sitting on $600 started moaning and groaning. The only hand I was worried about was AA and I knew he'd have snap called with that so I was 100% sure I was good vs him. Get in there baby! He agonized for a full minute before folding. Jose also quickly folded. After the hand they both said they had JJ! If they'd called (and weren't lying) I'd be 96% to win against both of them combined!

After about 3 hours Jose lost his $500 and hit the road. He was very friendly and chatty with the other players at the table. He took pictures with 5 or 6 people and seemed happy to do it. He was a little too passive, but he played pretty well in general. It was a cool experience.

All through the night things went well for me. I had one or two hands go against me, but the biggest driver of my results was the four hands where I flopped a pair with a flush draw. Those hands are hugely powerful because you're about 50% to make two pair or better by the river and provide a great opportunity to be very aggressive.

On the first I had 98 of spades and the flop came A Q 9 with two spades. My opponent bet $50 into a $100 pot, I put him all in for $225, he called, I made two pair on the river and it was good.

On the second, I had 65 of hearts, the flop came down K 7 6 with two hearts, someone shoved for $100 into a $130 pot, I called and made the flush on the turn.

On the third I had T9 of hearts and the flop came down A K 9 with two hearts. It got checked to me and I bet $20 into a $25 pot. The villain in this hand check raised to $65 and I just called. The turn was a 6 of clubs and the villain bet $100. I decided to put him to the test and made it $300 to go. After 30 seconds he folded.

On the fourth, I had 87 of spades and I put someone all in for $200 on a Q 8 4 with two spades flop, they called and I made the flush on the river.

In the end I walked out the door up $1,322 on the night!

The Captain of the Douches

On Thursday I played against the worst player I can remember. Not the worst in terms of poker, but this guy was just THE WORST!

While waiting for the $2/$3/$5 game I sat down at a new $1/$1/$2. The guy to my right was a young white guy with a loose fitting tank top, basketball shorts, a backwards hat, sunglasses and a couple of gold chains. He announced that this was his first time playing in person, but that he had played online.

He had no clue what was going on. He tried to buy in for $1,000 in a $200 max buy in game (the least of his offences). On the first hand, when the dealer told him it was "two to go" he threw in two yellow $5 chips thinking he was calling. He never once acted without being prompted by the dealer. He never once acted without taking 10 seconds or more. He couldn't keep track of who was in the hand and kept getting upset about it. He was blaming the other players for hiding their cards when everyone had them in front of their chip stacks.

He would NOT STOP TALKING! Holy shit! It's been two days and just thinking about this guy makes me angry. After 15 minutes I had had enough and went to go play $6/$12 instead. I didn't care how much money I could potentially make from the guy, I couldn't take it.

90 minutes later I got called for $2/$3/$5 and guess who was there? The Captain of the Douches. He hadn't gotten any better. It is excruciating to have the dealer tell the same person 2 or 3 times every time it is their turn to act when they are in every hand and never ever know what it's going on.

Dealer: It's on you.
Douche: (silence)
Dealer: It's on you, $5 to call.
Douche: I check.
Dealer: You can't check. It's $5 to call.
Douch: Who is in the hand?
Dealer: There are two callers. It's $5 to call.
Douche: (after 10 seconds puts in a $5 chip)
(the flop comes out)
Dealer: It's on you. Check or bet.
Douche: How much is it?
Dealer: Check or bet.
Douche: Who is in the hand?
Dealer: 4 players
Douche: (after 10 seconds taps the table to check)
Dealer: (after another player bets $50) It's on you. $50 to call.
Douche: (taps the table to attempt to check).
Dealer: There's a bet of $50.
Douche: (taps the table even harder to attempt to check)
Dealer: You can't check, it's $50 to you.
Douche: How much?
Dealer: $50 (thinking "I just told you three fucking times is was $50 to go you douche!")
Douche: (Takes 30 seconds to count out 14 $5 chips one at a time)
Dealer: (pushes back the 4 extra chips).
Dealer: Check or bet.
Douche: Who is in the hand?
Dealer: One other player over there.
Douche: I check
Dealer: He's all in for $200
Douche: How much is it?
Dealer: $200
Douche: How much does he have left?
Dealer: He's all in for $200.
Douche: (Puts $75 in the pot) I RE-raise!
Dealer: You're calling?
Douche: Yeah...Oh he's all in OK.
Dealer: He calls. The player over there has aces up.
Douche: (silence)
Dealer: Turn over your hand.
Douche: What? Did he call me?
Dealer: He has aces up. Turn your hand over.
Douche: (Turns over one pair of fives)
Dealer (pushes the pot)
Douche: What did he have? You guys have to stop hiding your cards.

It was like this hand after hand! And it's not like he was just confused, he was a dick too.

He was nursing a Bud Lite or two, but it seemed pretty clear he was on something else. Before long the shift manager cut him off from drinking and told him he had to speed it up or they'd pick him up.

10 hands later (which took about 45 minutes) I was losing $200 and ready to swallow some poker chips in the hopes that I'd choke on them, pass out and wake up in the hospital far far away from this guy.

Then he got involved in a hand where on the turn his opponent moved all in on him. Since he knew it was going to take an eon and a half for the Douche to call him, he picked up his phone and started playing a game. The Douche cried foul! "You're going to let him just use his phone in the middle of a hand?" First he complained to the dealer and then to a floorman who was passing by. He then pointed out another person nearby who was just standing around and accused his opponent of somehow collaborating with the other guy to cheat him. Someone could be texting the guy the Douche's exact two cards and it wouldn't matter - he was already all in! This logic was lost on the Douche.

The floor man told him to act on his hand. Out of sheer anger the Douche folded. Then he took out his phone and said "So I can just start taking pictures in the middle of a hand?" The floor man told him that no actually he couldn't take pictures or video, but texting or playing games while you're not in a hand or have moved in and there's nothing left for you to do, is OK.

The Douche was not to be deterred! "This is bull shit! I'm going to fucking sue this place!" The floorman said "Ok that's it, grab your chips, let's go." The floorman had to rack up the Douche's chips and he spent about 30 second talking about suing before being escorted off.

About 3 minutes later I heard him cry out "HE HIT ME!" and turned around to see him with a security guard and the shift manager. I can say for 100% sure that there was no chance either of them had hit him, but it looked like they both wanted to tear his head off. They hustled him out the front door and my guess is he met with the police out there shortly after.

As soon as that was over, things got back to normal. I played another 2 hours, made a few big hands and walked out the door with $695 more than I walked in with.

I really hope I never see that guy again.

Bluffs Need to Tell a Believable Story

I played 4 hours of $2/$3/$5 NL at the Oaks last night and my results came down to three bluffs.

In the first bluff I limped in for $5 with 76 of spades, one player raised to $20 and we took the flop 4 way. The flop came down K 9 5 with two hearts giving me a gutshot straight draw. The action checked around to the button who bet $25 and after a player in the big blind called I decided to call as well.

The turn paired the 5 and I decided to take a shot at it. The bet of $25 on the flop from the button felt really weak to me which was a big reason I called on the flop. It seemed like "well, everyone checked to me so I guess I'll bet." A real hand would have bet $50-$75 on the flop.

After a check from the big blind I bet out $100. That's about how much I'd bet if I had a 5 and since I in fact had 76 I could just as easily had 65 (or A5). To my surprise I got called by the button. At that point I figured I was up against a king or a flush draw. Happily an off suit A came on the river, I bet out $150 and won the pot. Hooray!

On the second instance I had A6 of hearts and found another spot to take a shot at winning the pot without the best hand. In this instance the flop had come down Q 8 6 with two spades and one club and the villain had bet $30 into a $75 pot. I called, the turn came out the 3 of clubs and the villain bet $40. Betting $30 into $75 is kind of weak. Betting $40 into $135 felt even weaker. The villain only had about $160 behind so I trusted my read and moved all in, figuring it made sense to risk $200 to win $175 when I read my opponent as weak.

Normally, call the flop, raise the turn is a line that screams big hand (at least two pair). But I made a big mistake here and I realized it about 5 seconds after I moved in while the villain was thinking. The mistake was this was a very draw heavy board with two flush draws and lots of potential straight draws. I could easily be on a semi bluff. Also there weren't any solid two pair combinations. The 3 was a brick. I was really trying to represent a set and it couldn't be QQ since I was not a preflop raiser. Another problem is my opponent was a thinker. He's not a great player, but he could make a read and trust it. He called me with A8! Gah! I knew he was weak! I'm sure he thought with an 8 in his hand 88 was an unlikely hand for me and I would have folded 33 on the flop. That only leaves 66 or a semi bluff in my range with the latter being much more likely.

A little later I had this last hand top of mind when I made another bluff. I've forgotten what I had, but I know it was total air. The flop came down 8 7 3 with two clubs, it got checked to me on the button and I bet out $60 into an $80 pot. I should mention that I'd bet maybe 6 or 7 flops by that point and only gotten called once. I was getting a ton of respect from a rather weak table. I got one caller and the turn was a ten of clubs completing the flush draw. It got checked to me and I wasn't really sure what to do so I stalled a bit and made it look like I was thinking about betting, but then checked. I probably should have fired again, but I talked myself out of it.

The river paired the 7. My opponent checked and I quickly fired $150 into the pot. This line told a believable story. That story was "I flopped a 7 and bet it on the flop because I was last to act, but then checked because of the over card and the flush coming in, but now I have trips so here's a big fat $150 in your face!" My opponent said nice hand, and folded.

The rest of the night was very slow. I was never up or down more than $200 and booked a $51 win on the night.

I'm back in action Friday.

The Ballad of Sheriff Short Memory and His Magical Penny

I walked into the Oaks last night and within 5 minutes was sitting down at a new $2/$3/$5 NL game that just started.

About 10 minutes later I got involved in my first noteworthy hand. The under the gun player raised to $15, two players in the field called and I looked down at AQ in the small blind. I should have raised to $75 here, but I just called and along with the big blind we took the flop 5 way. I could argue that against an under the gun raiser AQ was not in great shape and that I wanted to get to know the players a bit before getting involved in a big hand, but more so I think I called because I'd gotten my ass beat the night before and was a little tentative, which is not ideal.

The flop came down Q T 7 which was great for me. I went for the check raise, but sadly everyone checked around. The turn was a 6, I bet out $50, and got called by the big blind (who is the Key Villain in some upcoming hands). The river was another Q! Bingo! Trips!

I figured my opponent either had one pair like a T or maybe 88 or 99, a worse Q, or a draw and I had to decide how much to bet. If he had a draw I wouldn't get called no matter how much I bet so I threw that out of the equation and if it was a Q I could move all in and probably get called. But there was only one Q left after accounting for the one in my hand and the two on the board so a T or pocket pair was much more likely. I bet $100 figuring I might get called by a hand like KT or JT.

My opponent quickly called and said "I hope we chop." "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I thought. He rolled over 98 for a straight and I thanked my lucky stars that he didn't raise me on the turn or the river. I guess he figured I had to have at least a straight to bet and was hoping I didn't have a full house? Strange. Not a great start.

A few hands later I got dealt KK in the big blind. There was a straddle just to my left and when the action came to me 5 players were in for $10. I made it $65 to go and I got two callers. The flop came down K T 6! Top set! Zing!

One of my opponents had about $200 left and the other only had $50 so even though there was $200+ in the pot I bet small sliding $65 into the pot. The guy with $200 shoved and the other guy called!

I had the nuts, but this was a draw heavy board with two clubs out there on the flop. The turn was a 9 meaning the obvious straight draw got there. The river was the 7 of clubs bringing in the flush draw. Shit! I rolled over my hand reluctantly and the bigger stack showed 66 and the other guy mucked! Hey good things happening to me! I remember you!

Right before that hand the dealer found a penny in the rack of chips and tossed it to the guy with the 66. When I took all of his chips he said "here take the penny too" figuring perhaps it was cursed. I kept it on my stack the rest of the session planning to throw it to anyone who got my chips and that's where it stayed for the rest of the night.

I had more good things happen to me for the next couple of hours. After my set of kings I had about $900 in front of me which was enough to have everyone covered and I used that stack to my advantage. There were two guys in the game who had a pattern of calling the flop with just about anything - any pair, overcards, gutshots, backdoor flushes - and then folding on the turn if they didn't have at least top pair. If they did have top pair or better or made their hand they'd come out betting on the turn. All I had to do to beat them was bet the flop and bet the turn every time I was in there with them. Ta da! Easy!

One of these two guys kept asking me what I had or could I beat hand X. I told him "I don't know" or "Maybe" or "It could have been anything." After the second or third time he started calling me 'Short Memory.' "Hey Short Memory, could you beat fours on that one?" "I don't know, maybe."

Around that time I got involved in two hands with the Key Villain I mentioned earlier. This guy was about 40, Asian, looked kind of dorky. He bought in for $500 and handled the chips and cards like he was experienced, and I had a hard time getting past the fact that he looked and acted like he knew what he was doing, when looking back I don't think he really did.

On the first hand 5 of us saw a flop for $20 and I flopped a flush with 97 of diamonds on an A 6 4 all diamond board. Key Villain who was not the preflop raiser bet out $30 which was a really small bet into a $100 pot. I figured he had an ace with no diamond or maybe the king of diamonds. I was all set to bet if it was checked to me and all set to call a big bet, but I wasn't really sure what to do with this bet. I didn't really want to let someone else with a big diamond outdraw me cheaply, but didn't want to blow everyone out of there on the flop either. I decided to take a risk and just call, and everyone else folded.

The turn was a black 8, and he bet $35. Gah! I was really hoping for a bigger bet or a check. But this even more so felt like an ace with no diamond holding. I figured if I raised I'd blow him off the hand for sure and my guess was if no diamond came on the end I'd see a check and could make a sizeable bet that was likely to get called. With that in mind again I just called.

The river paired the 4 and he bet $35 again. I made it $145 and after 5 seconds went by and he didn't shove on me I knew I didn't run into a full house. After 30 seconds he folded. I would have been nice to make more with that hand, but picking up $180 or so didn't suck.

A little later the player just to my right who was sitting on a stack of $1,000 made it $30 and I called with 99 dreaming of hitting set and taking it all. The big blind plus the Key Villain who had just called under the gun came along as well.

The flop came down A 5 4 with two diamonds and everyone checked to me. I figured if no one had an ace I could bet and take down the pot so I fired out $75. Only the Key Villain called. At this point I figured he had a draw that was likely a flush draw. In that previous hand where I was pretty sure he had an ace he'd come out betting and even if he did have an ace it probably wasn't a strong ace since he didn't come in for a raise preflop. I on the other hand had called a good sized raise cold so a big ace was squarely in the middle of my likely hand range.

The turn was an 8. He checked, I cut out $150 from my stack and pushed it into the pot figuring I could blow him off a weak ace and knowing I was a big favorite against a flush draw. After about 5 seconds he shoved for $241. Ugh!

Turn check raises are almost never bluffs. No one ever bluffs for another $91 into $400+ pots. All I could beat was a bluff...or maybe a flush draw? Would he do that with a flush draw? I didn't really think so, but I was getting more than 5 to 1 on my money so I reluctantly put in another $91.

The river was a 2 and he said "Just an ace." I nodded sadly, but didn't roll over my cards as it was his turn to show first. When he flipped over his cards he had 87! He'd actually said "Just an eight" and I'd misheard him! Yeah baby! Send the cookies!

As soon as he left I said "Let that be a lesson to the rest of you. Don't test me! I'm calling everyone down super lite!" That got a good laugh and someone said "The Sheriff is in town!" which got echoed in a few other spots.

Two hands later I got dealt AT off suit and raised to $20. I got 5 callers which was not ideal, but the flop came down A Q 6 with one spade which was pretty good. Some of the time I like to check top pair even when I'm the preflop raiser. Not often, but enough so that people have to consider that I might have an ace even when I check on an ace high board. A 6 way pot seemed like a good time to let someone else take the lead. It got checked around.

The turn was the 3 of spades and the big blind bet out $45. I called and everyone else folded. My hope was I was up against a worse ace and that I'd see a check, bet, call, I win type of action on the river.

The river came out a 4 of spades completing the flush draw. My opponent quickly shoved all in for $140. Most people will back off when a flush draw comes in and my check on the flop plus call in the turn would be reasonable with a flush draw. His bet felt off to me. I figured he either had made the flush himself or had lost his mind. It was the latter. I called and he showed 77.

The guy to my left leaned over and said "he must not of heard what you said a minute ago." Sheriff Short Memory is calling people down over here! Watch out!

I ended up playing for 5 hours and won $1,219 on the night. It was a fun session. Good things happened to me! And I played well! Hooray!

I took the penny with me...

One of These Hands Is Not Like the Other

After an amazing vacation in Colorado I was back at the Oaks Thursday night where two hands defined my night.

There was only one $2/$3/$5 game going when I walked in the door so I jumped in to a $6/$12 limit game while I was waiting. An hour later I was down $256 without winning a single pot. Not a good start! They started a new $2/$3/$5 game at that point and I sat down with a few familiar faces and a few new ones.

About 15 minutes in the player two off the button put in $10 to straddle. I was on the button and looked down at KK. I made it $40 to go and the action folded around to the straddle. I figured I was about to win the $20 in the pot and move on to the next hand, but my opponent started reaching for chips. After about 15 seconds of messing with his chips he moved all in! He had about $300 and of course I snap called him.

When he turned over his hand he had 88 meaning I was 82% to win. The flop came down 6 6 2, the turn was a 9 and the river was...an 8. Fuck! Even though this has happened to me thousands of times it still hurts.

After that kick in the nuts I spent the next few hours dragging. It seemed like every other pot there were 5 limpers who would check it down all the way to the end. It was super passive, which in general is good, but I was mostly getting total garbage and it's not a good idea to try to force it with nothing when you're losing even if you might be able to run over a weak table. I won a few pots that mostly looked like, raise, get one or two callers, bet the flop and win, but nothing better than that.

I found myself stuck about $700 total on the night including my $6/$12 action when I decided enough was enough and I should just bail.

On my last hand before picking up I got K9 of clubs and threw in a $5 chip to call. This was a pretty loose call under the gun, but there were only 7 players dealt in and it was a game with not a ton of raising so I figured what the hell. The button called and the small blind raised to $30. Knowing I was making a bad call, I called, and the button folded. This was a frustration call at the end of 4 hours of frustrating play. Raises out of the blinds are almost always strong hands. I've specifically spent a ton of time talking about that with two poker friends recently and I totally ignored it.

The flop came down 6 4 2 all clubs! A ha! I'd flopped a flush. I got away with my shitty call, I thought to myself. My opponent had a little over $300 behind and bet out $50. I looked back at my cards even though I knew exactly what I had to make it look like I was checking to see if I had a club and then I just called.

The turn was a red 9 and my opponent checked. At this point I figured I was up against AK or AQ with no club and if I bet out I wouldn't get called. If it wasn't that, I was up against a big pair with no club that was being cautious, but either way I figured my opponent was drawing dead and If I checked would bet out as long as the river wasn't a club. So I checked.

The river paired the 6 and my opponent bet out $100. I thought that was a bad card because when I shoved my opponent might put me on a 6 and fold an over pair, but moving all in was my only move. My opponent quickly called and turned over 99 for a full house! Son of a bitch! I did not see that coming.

If you look at the point in each hand where you were in the best shape you can convince yourself that you're the most unlucky person in the world so I try not to do that, but with that said I was 98% to win that pot after the flop.

I lost $1,073 on the night. If I can get KK to hold up against 88 and a flopped flush to hold against an overpair I book a small win.

I'm back in action tonight ready for some good things to happen to me.

My Journey from $5 to Glory on Carbon Poker

On April 15th, 2011 the US government seized the domains of the 4 biggest poker sites in the US; Pokerstars, Full Tilt, Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet. These sites represented about 95% of the US online poker market share. I've always been surprised that not many people have asked "What about the other 5%?"

That last 5% was made up of about 150 sites. In 2009 or 2010 the state of Kentucky tried to ban all online gambling and that's how many sites they came up with. Could the federal government not do a Google search for online gambling? This always seemed like the shadiest shit.

Fast forward 4 years and Pokerstars is still the biggest site in the world, they bought the carcass of Full Tilt, paid off everyone in the US who had deposits on those two sites (to the tune of about $750,000,000), and is hoping to get back in the US market.

The 5% of the sites that survived and others that have come along are sketchy to say the least. One site - Lock Poker - came into existence, advertised heavily, built up some market share, had some problems and then essentially closed up shop and kept whatever player deposits they had left. Factoring in that you could lose any money you have on these sites via government shutdown (everyone who had money on Absolute Poker or Ultimate bet got $0 back) or implosion by the site itself is part of the risk you take playing.

But people are still playing. So I decided to look into it.

It seems like Carbon Poker, America's Cardroom and Bovada are the leaders and while looking in to this stuff I happened to create an account at Carbon Poker. The deposit options seems like a major pain in the ass and after that brief investigation I forgot about it. A few days later I got an email saying they'd put $5 into my account to try out their real money games. Ah ha!

There were a few famous stories of top pros starting with some small amount like $10 and building it up to $10,000 over the course of a couple of months of online play to prove to everyone they could start over. 2000 WSOP Main Event winner Chris Ferguson actually started with $0 and played freerolls until he won some small amount of cash and built that into $10,000.

I started off playing the $.05/$.10 no limit tables with my $5 which was the smallest stakes game they offer. With only 50 big blinds to work with I knew I'd need to get lucky. But I made a few hands and before I knew it I was up to $15! I started buying into those games with the minimum $3 and made an effort to play my best and avoid going fully broke at all costs.

After 3 or 4 hours of play here and there over the course a week I was up to $25, started buying in for $5 and began playing 2-3 games at a time. After I made it up to $40 I started playing the $.10/$.25 tables. They were actually not all the different from the games at the Oaks and I found it to be good no pressure practice.

I played a few $5 tournaments along the way and had mixed success, but right after coming back from the WSOP I jumped into am $11 tournament with 175 players, a $3 tournament with 270 players and a $5 tournament with 350 players. This was a bit risky for my bankroll (I was up to $75 by that point), but I finished 12th in the $11 and made the final table coming in 6th in the $3. That got me to about $130.

I ran stupid hot and found it so frustrating to have run bad in Vegas in $500 and $1000 tournaments only to come back and get amazing cards in a $3 tournament! GAH!

Another thing struck me when signing up for these tournaments. I just signed up and played. Compare that to the Colossus where I had to sign up online, go to the bank and complete a wire transfer, fly to Vegas, wait an hour in a line to get my seat card the night before, and then finally show up the day of and play. What a huge pain in the ass!

After a blazing $30 win today I'm up to $160! I think I've put in somewhere around 15 hours over the past 6 weeks to get to this point. I honestly don't know if they're going to let me cash this money out as I haven't made a deposit and I bet no one ever does anything with that $5 other than blow it off. I think if I can make it up to about $500 I'll try to take some out and see what happens.

I miss Pokerstars.